Those days where
the sky doesn't
look (even slightly) real;
it's far too beautiful,
it's far too lovely
to be in plain sight
for the entire world.

Surely it's a painting
or an outcome of
my imagination.

On these days,
I find myself believing
in the power of
the great Unknown -
whatever is beyond
those clouds
is the answer.

Personification of God (I think)

Sunlight
Sunlight
Sunlight
and more Sunlight.
Sunlight is lovely
and heart warming.
Sunlight is true love.
Sunlight is the answer
to a dreary day -
to a dreary life?

Sunlight is happiness.
Sunlight is joy.
Sunlight is right in
front of you.

Find the Sunlight
and live in it.

I remember when life was
beautiful and alive and free
and I stared at the clouds
as a guide to my day
(You were up there).

How clouds are pleasing
to the eye, but not to the soul.
(Are You up there?)

I love my fervor,
my passion,
the God and the dad
that I knew so well
three months ago
on the living room floor.
How could this happen?

If only I could change the past
to be guided by the clouds again.

There was once a flower.
A beautiful, blooming flower
of bright pink and green -
glimmering in the sun.
He overlooked all the land
and smiled upon what he saw.

A tiny, helpless ladybug
had no where to rest.
She had been on a
long, tiresome journey.
She spotted the glimmering flower
from her home in the shrubs.
"Maybe he knows the way to rest",
she thought.
She delicately approached the flower -
she was wary, cautious,
its perfection could not possibly be true.
Did the flower even notice
her puny self approaching?

The flower knew tiny ladybug.
He had been watching her in the shrubs.
He knew where each of her spots
had come from.
He thought she was so unique
and wonderful - "she shines so bright",
the flower thought.
He wished tiny ladybug
would come talk to him.
Surely his petals would
bring her great comfort and rest.

The ladybug's tiny legs
carried her to the stem,
"Hello", she called up to the flower,
"Are you up there?"
"I have been on a very long
and tiresome journey
and would like a place to rest."
"Do you have such a place for me?"

The flower welled up
with grace and might.
He rejoiced - his petals shook
with utter excitement.
"Could it be?" He thought,
"Tiny ladybug has finally come
to talk to me."
He reached down and lifted
her from the ground,
higher and higher tiny ladybug
went until she rested upon
the flower's petals.

Tiny ladybug was so astonished
by the flower's beauty,
every hue, every color, everything
was covered in brightness.
But soon tiny ladybug felt
covered in shame,
"Surely I don't belong here.
I have lived my entire life in the shrubs."
"I don't deserve this;
I am covered in dirty spots."

The flower was struck
with compassion,
he wrapped his mighty petal
around ladybug's tiny body
and stripped her clean of her spots.
Then flower said,
"You have always belonged here.
You are always welcome here.
You will never be too dirty or
have too many spots -
I will never stop washing you clean.
You are home."

Tiny ladybug found the rest
she had been searching for
and lived out the remainder
of her years
dancing and rejoicing
on the flower's petals.

Life is confusing, and hard,
and painful,
especially when characterized by loss.
Why?
Loss evokes change;
it is gone, it will not return,
a vital piece of thriving, everyday life,
gone.

You cannot remain the same.

And then the world is flipped,
flopped, and it spins on a new axle;
An axle with the ghost
of the life that has passed.
And change unpacks its suitcase
and pretends its your friend.

You are not my friend.

Change is uncomfortable and bitter,
rotten and unfair.
My life should not have changed
under these circumstances.
God, where are You?

Love and loss,
are these the two true axles
that keep the world spinning?

Everything is spinning,
turning, and changing,
and my life is becoming
unnecessarily complicated.

I'd like to return to
life before all of this happened;
but it's impossible.

Quietly, gently,
I sense a great Presence
whispering to me,
"Trek on, my tiny wayfarer,
I have this all figured out".

a note to myself, shared with the world

Love all kinds of people.

Our species is so impressive
and so beautiful,
and each organism so
incredibly unique
that we would be missing out
if we limited ourselves
to loving only a few
kinds of people.

Maybe we could learn
a thing or two from those
that differ from us;
maybe we can transform an
exclusive species of human beings
into an inclusive one.

Maybe we can all connect;
but that will not happen
until we set aside our differences
and step outside of our box
to love all kinds of people.