humans

we're humans.
how can we not
relate to one another?

we share primitive traits,
primal traits.
we are all one another-
inevitably interlaced
by our frail humanity.

we all exist.
we all take in air, expel air.
our food is digesting,
our hearts are pumping,
our eyes are wandering,
our minds are racing,
our hands are discovering,

and we're all searching,
searching, unceasingly searching
for the place we exist fully,
for the place we breathe most freely.
for the place we belong.

so let us humans
attune ourselves to the
homogeneity among us

and let us create this place
that we're searching for
together.

I am

in love

with the 

idea of

being free.

Now,

I must be. 

I am me -
the only me
that will ever be.

and to be me
is to be free
and to be free
is to be me,

so let yourself be,
embrace your me,
and set yourself free.


*this poem was semi-inspired by these words by Oliver Sacks:

"There will be no one like us when we are gone,
but then there is no one like anyone else, ever.
When people die, they cannot be replaced.
They leave holes that cannot be filled,
for it is the fate - the genetic and neural fate -
of every human being to be a unique individual,
to find his own path, to live his own life,
to die how own death,"

I am either completely in love with life,
fully immersed, falling head first into
a pit of wonder and whimsy and excitement,
or I am going utterly insane.

I think it's a combination of the two.

But there's a word for this high.
Elation: it is a funny feeling -
you're floating in the clouds,
you're worry free, you're inspired.
But perhaps the most satisfying side effect
of a bout of elation is the inability
to be present anywhere except
the current moment.

It usually happens (for me) after
coffee, after writing,
after God, music, people -
but no matter what produces the feeling,
we should take it and hold it
and live and be free
in our momentary state of bliss.

July 11th, 2014

This being of me,
this strange existentialist feeling,
is often saturated with joy
when reminded
that the sun
is warm and free
and accessible
to us all.

I do believe that we have free will.
An exceptionally beautiful facet of life is the complete authority to govern your own life.
But I will throw you a curve ball here: how much of our life (our individualized human experience) is actually ours?
Hasn't a majority (if not all) of what we know, what we believe, been taught to us? We are presented with thoughts and ideas and we mold them to fit our lives.
We've been morphed and shaped to be who we are based on our surroundings, how we were raised, what we know (I am not dispelling the fact that we are able to break free of our molds - we are, but they are still deeply ingrained in the essence of who we are).
I think that we'd like to view life as a subjective experience, when in fact, a majority of it is probably objective - concepts that we have been taught to believe by others, passed down and lived out from person to person, time to time).

I'll use this analogy: we were born with a cone on our heads. (You know, sorta like those awkward ones that they put around dogs neck to prevent them from licking themselves and causing infection?)
When you were young, your scope of knowledge, your understanding of the world was incredibly narrow. You knew what those who raised you knew.
As you grow older and experience life outside the domain of a constant caregiver(s) with their own perception of life, the cone gradually expands as you meet new people and experience new lifestyles and learn that everyone's not like you.
The cone has expanded, but it's still the same cone, it's still the same foundational element that you were born with. Your basic understanding of the world is more or less still the same: objective.
You catch some subjective experiences here and there (which I personally consider direct experiences with the Divine) and widen the cone, but the framework has already been set.

So, why do I write about this?
I want to rip the cone off
and become my own being.
Not a collection of all that came before me;
but a free being, One with the Divine.

I want to experience life without preconceived judgments
but I'm afraid that this isn't possible.

sanctuary 

How many times will I lay
in this place, this familiar place
where I've so often
thought and pondered and
questioned the complexity of life,
before my time is up
and I am no longer
a companion to the Earth?

And on that day
all those questions
(the worries, the uncertainties)
will finally be answered -
and I will be free.

Soon, incredibly soon
(it could be any day, any moment),
I will know;
so why do I continue
to lay and ponder
and strain my mind
to make sense of the world
when the solution
is merely around the corner?

two thoughts on human life

one
I can't help but consider
how beautiful life would be
if we had nothing to prove
to anyone but ourselves.

If we were totally, wholeheartedly
free to be who we are,
what would this world be like?
(Surely there would be no
carbon-copies of humans,
and individuality would be praised.)

A desire pulses in me
to create this world. 

two
Celebrate diversity
and different paths of life,
different paths to truth.
(And love God while doing it).

We don't have to be cookie cutter.

I remember when life was
beautiful and alive and free
and I stared at the clouds
as a guide to my day
(You were up there).

How clouds are pleasing
to the eye, but not to the soul.
(Are You up there?)

I love my fervor,
my passion,
the God and the dad
that I knew so well
three months ago
on the living room floor.
How could this happen?

If only I could change the past
to be guided by the clouds again.

on the topic of being alone

Stagnant and free,

the place I love to be.

It sets the stage for motion

in a world of chaos and commotion.

I'm in that place again.

My mind runs wild.

Dreaming, oh, the possibilities!

It's quite overstimulating.

That infinite feeling,

endless hope, and endless God.

My mind runs wild.

Contentment and reality

mix as one.

Where am I, again? -

Floating, above it all.

Everything's right. Nothing's wrong.

Connected to the sky, journal in hand.

Brightness fills my sight and

my heart runs wild.

I'm telling you, my tiny wayfarer,

being alone isn't so bad. 

The sky is beautiful.
The clouds look like home,
pleasant and inviting,
full of wonder, full of life.
Nothing is greater
than what my eyes see
when I look up.

So, my tiny wayfarer, look up,
and be inspired
and let your imagination soar
and let your dreams run free.
Let yourself feel and be alive
and think life through.
Create and invent this day
to match the beauty
of the sky.
(This is impossible -
but worth the attempt).

Written at Midnight

Life can kick you down,
and - trust the unfortunate here - it will.
It's going to declare that you're
wrong
Wrong
WRONG!
Some advice - kill your life!
Do not become enslaved to
negotiating with your demons.
Tell life that you will NOT
bargain with it,
that you will NOT sell your soul
to worrying and comparison.
KILL THE MIND AND THE
DEMONS THAT LIVE INSIDE.
You will no longer be consumed
by detrimental thoughts
(but they won't escape) -
ESCAPE THEM. FLEE.

Run to the distance -
where the Sunlight lives.
Separate yourself from
this cruel, cruel life.
Float high above,
in the clouds, with love,
in It's unadulterated form.

Be free from this life -
you'll be compensated in a
fresh, lovely world,
where minds are at peace
(not on edge!).
I promise you this -
you'll dance, alive and new.

Hurry -
time is slipping, hope is depleting,
ESCAPE NOW.

Let Dance Rule

To all flowers,
let beauty grow.
To all sunbeams,
let light overcome.
To all winds,
let uncertainty guide.
To all clouds,
let wandering ensure.
To all birds,
let wings propel.

And to all free souls,
let dance rule
in your hearts.

"Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing

and rightdoing there is a field.

I'll meet you there.

When the soul lies down in that grass

the world is too full to talk about."

Past anything of our comprehension, 

past our shame and guilt and pride,

there is a safe place.

God lives there.

He's always been there.

He's waiting for us there.

The field is where broken souls go,

the ones that have given up 

on trying to understand why.

They just want peace of mind.

The soul will come to this field

and it will be set free - finally!

It won't speak -

words are a profanity,

it will just be, one with God.

Oh, how I long for this field. 

Be who you are.
Shine your beautiful,
radiant face
in the sunlight.
Feel warmth, feel fullness,
feel the overwhelming
presence of our God above.
You are wonderful and free.
Live with purpose,
knowing that you will
fly away in only
a few short years.