part two of my confused mind
One the outside:
normal.
On the inside:
turmoil.
I'm leading two
separate lives,
neither of which
are satisfying
or give me any answers
or sense of comfort.
Neither of which
are true.
Both are a lie.
If one was "more true"
than the other,
it would be the turmoil -
the tossing and turning
of the Deceiver
between the ears.
I don't have
control of this anymore.
Being myself appeals to me
but so does reinventing myself
to be someone who
knows the reason
behind death.
Do I remain, normal,
unknowing, regarding death
as an unanswerable demon?
Or do I break free,
in turmoil,
and let my mind run wild
at all the possibilities
of why the Power in the sky
let's us live here,
making connections,
making lasting love,
then takes us away?
It's a terrible process.
Especially for the ones
left behind on planet Earth,
orbiting and thinking,
"what's the meaning behind this?"
I'll take turmoil any day.
It's a little more satisfying
than normality.
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