How many times
have I sat here,
alive,
and wondered
what it would feel like
to not be alive?

Why do I waste my aliveness,
as limited as it is,
in this way?
Why do I waste this precious breath,
this precious, continuous
beating of the heart,
pondering what I will be like
without it?

Answer.

Because my mind has an
unquenchable desire
to know
what is can not know..

and this is my demise.

you can gain all the knowledge

you desire,

but what good is knowledge 

of you do not apply?

and what good is applying

if you do not feel?

and what good is feeling

if you do not love? 

on the topic of our limited human existence: 

1.
It's horrible.
I want to be so many beings,
feel so many feelings,
see so many places,
and love so many people.

But I am stuck
in the shell of my life
and my time,
my tiny little place in
history - my individualized
time frame and existence.

I am me,
and this is who
I will always be.


2. 
To feel limited is fearsome,
this is a true and horrifying feeling
(I will never be anyone but myself) -

to feel content with what
you know, with who you are,
this is beautiful state to be in.

But to have a continual desire
to know more, to be more -
this is absolutely essential
in moving forward.