Am I going insane or unveiling the secrets that a tedious life keeps from us? 

There is a true, pure force within me.

I'm looking for it. Every day, always - I'm looking for it. That undeniable feeling of fulfillment and truth that comes and goes.

It comes when I see the sunlight, the clouds, the layered green trees manipulated by gusty spurts of air.

It comes when I peer into the eyes of a loved one. When I notice them - honestly and fully notice them for all that they are, and all that they are worth.

It comes in the stillness of sight, the beauty of the day, the dark of the night. My eyes are a portal to what I understand of the world, of what I comprehend and make sense of, they are my compass to discovery.

It comes when I realize that this true, pure force within in me, the same force that I long to feel, I long to hold on to, I long to make my life about, has a mirrored force (high above) that created all that surrounds me.

It feels a lot like love.

Isn't it astonishing 
how life can change so abruptly,
and in the most distressing ways? 
Instantaneously, our balance is thrown off -
ordinariness is a stranger,
and we begin to question 
the stability of our beliefs. 

There must be some force
that propels us to keep operating,
some force that reminds us of
a kind friend: hope,
some crazy reasoning behind the
madness of life.

The beautiful part
is that we keep trekking on,
and along the way we learn
that these moments that change us
don't need to be answered here,
not now, not in this life-
they will be answered down the road.
Now we know in part,
soon we will know in full
the reasoning behind the madness.