"Hope is independent of the apparatus of logic."
- Norman Cousins


Tell me - how is it logical for the human being to live with joy, with fervor, with whimsy, and to simultaneously know that we will one day be ripped from the only home we've ever known by death?

Is this not an incredibly somber and discouraging thought? What the hell sense does that make? What's the point? If, on an unforeseen day, we will all be gone, why work toward anything? Why ask the big questions if the end result is always the same? Why spend time loving and knowing others if we will be heartbroken when they're gone?

Insert hope.

Hope dispels logic. Hope tells logic, "no - you're the concept that doesn't make any sense, and if you did make sense, who would even care about making sense?" Hope is perplexing and wild. Hope is present in the morning sun, in the smile of the passerby, in taking a breath and knowing that your lungs are still providing your body with existence.

Hope resides in a realm separate from logic. Why? Logic attempts to explain, hope succeeds in disproving. Hope, time and time again, has guided the human out of desperate and tragic circumstances. Hope indeed disproves us - when we are so very convinced that we can not go on, hope is the gentle nudge, the faint reminder that there's still a lot of life yet to be known, and so much more to discover; and yes, we can go on because hope reminds us of our inertly curious will to exist, to be alive.

Hope can not be explained with words, only felt. Hope has no equation, nor fancy theories. Hope has no end, no beginning, and no limit.

Hope simply is
and always will be.

why wait?

Why wait to
feel, to express, to experience?

Why wait to
tell the ones you love
of all the beautiful thoughts
you have of them?

Why wait to
follow the pull of your heart-
the inescapable path to truth?

Why wait to
see, to go, to explore?

Why wait to live?

My heart is full of ideas;
my mind is full of questions.

So many places I could be,
people I could become,
sights to be seen,
lives to be understood -

but I am here.

And is here
where I am intended to be? -
I think yes,
but a defying opinion
arises when I consider
the vast possibilities in life,
the potential that humans hold
to paint their existence
in whichever way they please.

Something is growing in me,
inspiring me to discover, to become,
and that something feels a lot like
a pull in the right direction.

But for now -
I am here;
and the present
is the only reality
that I know.

maybe

Maybe things get worse
before they get better.
Maybe there's a tiny light
that shines in even
the darkest of days.

Maybe as we grow older
we grow wiser;
acquiring experiences and
knowledge only learned
by the weathering away
of years.

Maybe time heals wounds.
Maybe faith heals the broken.
Maybe questions are the answer.
Maybe love is all you need.
Maybe life is a mystery
not meant to be solved
but meant to be
consciously felt
and personally experienced.

Maybe, just maybe,
uncertainty is beautiful.

Here I sit
the thirteenth of June, a Friday,
in the year of two thousand and fourteen.

I gaze upon
the baby blue infinite sky
creating a quintessential backdrop
for the green leaves of trees
carelessly flowing,
passively surrendered to the waves of the wind.

And a million questions circulate
through my bewildered mind,

but as I gaze upon the beautiful phenomenon
occurring before me,

I feel okay.

Alanis Morissette

twitter

Are you bright
and fancy enough
with your nuggets
of thoughts
and one-liners?
If you phrase it just right,
you might enchant someone.
Isn't that what you want?

You don't want to
know what's in here.
I would not fit in.
You shouldn't know
the constant flickering
of questions and doubt.
I would not belong.

You do not want
the burden of this brain.
You would not retweet it.

I can't control the madness
of my mind.
It darts and fly's ten thousand
places at once.
There's no internal resting place.

Some days I want to kill
my mind and
all the questions;
other days I want to
dwell in them,
I want to feel them and the
uncertainty, as if it brings me
some form of cruel comfort.

Tell me, God, where are you
present in these days?

Written January 30th, 2014

I have no words today
to express my heavy heart.
But, I will try.
When I'm alone,
the answers escape me,
thoughts burst and explode in my head -
They're taking over!
But then people come along
and I see the answers in their hearts -
Love them! - God tells me

Isn't it astonishing 
how life can change so abruptly,
and in the most distressing ways? 
Instantaneously, our balance is thrown off -
ordinariness is a stranger,
and we begin to question 
the stability of our beliefs. 

There must be some force
that propels us to keep operating,
some force that reminds us of
a kind friend: hope,
some crazy reasoning behind the
madness of life.

The beautiful part
is that we keep trekking on,
and along the way we learn
that these moments that change us
don't need to be answered here,
not now, not in this life-
they will be answered down the road.
Now we know in part,
soon we will know in full
the reasoning behind the madness.