To feel

You don't have to think deep, philosophical thoughts to feel.

Sometimes you just feel. 

You just feel because you're a human,

And us humans are gifted with this frail, beautiful humanity that cannot be spoken of, only felt. 

And just feeling is the truest form of feeling.

It comes from within, from a place where language is irrelevant.  

It comes from the heart. 

some thoughts

1.)
If one were to claim that our existence is ordinary,
well, that would be an extraordinary claim -

For I have learned that nothing pertaining to our existence
can be described as mundane..

There are too many beautiful,
indescribable,
and compelling
things occurring.


2.)
I do not feel inspired to write -
I feel inspired to be, to live, to explore!
Yet I find myself writing about being.

What sense does this make?

clouds, clouds 

clouds, clouds,
sing to me;
reveal to me
your bubbly shape
and magnificent form
of swirling cotton,
tenderly soft, yet
tantalizingly beautiful.

A glance upward
exposes a beauty unmatched.
The confidence of love
paired with
simple, charming grace is
exposed in your wispy fringe.
A feathery vulnerability,
a lovely affair
is artfully painted
in these downy
white masses
that float in
the mystical beyond.


clouds, clouds,
tell me,
what is your secret?

Am I going insane or unveiling the secrets that a tedious life keeps from us? 

There is a true, pure force within me.

I'm looking for it. Every day, always - I'm looking for it. That undeniable feeling of fulfillment and truth that comes and goes.

It comes when I see the sunlight, the clouds, the layered green trees manipulated by gusty spurts of air.

It comes when I peer into the eyes of a loved one. When I notice them - honestly and fully notice them for all that they are, and all that they are worth.

It comes in the stillness of sight, the beauty of the day, the dark of the night. My eyes are a portal to what I understand of the world, of what I comprehend and make sense of, they are my compass to discovery.

It comes when I realize that this true, pure force within in me, the same force that I long to feel, I long to hold on to, I long to make my life about, has a mirrored force (high above) that created all that surrounds me.

It feels a lot like love.

Life is a crazy occurrence. Reality is unnatural, but we as humans (limited beings) have made it out to be natural, normal, monotonous...

Let's think this through.

People - our feet are bound to a water-filled, land-covered orb suspended in space. There are billions of orbs like ours floating around us, but we inhabit this one. No one is one hundred percent certain as to why we're here, experiencing all these moments of pain and joy, connecting to fellow wayfarer's around us. We can claim ideas and explanations and faiths in an attempt to process why we exist here, in this place, in this time, but I am convinced that nothing is certain. Maybe certainty is overrated. Maybe to be uncertain is to be in the minority - to be in love with life regardless of explanation. How the moments fit together, what they mean, and the excitement of not yet knowing the moments that will come - uncertainty is beautiful.

What I am convinced of is that there is some force greater, beyond our comprehension, that explains the reasoning behind our seemingly irrational existence. We have to trust that force in an attempt to remain sane. If we had no purpose or reason for living, then how could we trek on? We're all trusting something - that something that keeps us alive and feeling worthy of breath. It's keeping us passionate about moving forward, it's our explanation, our flame of existence.

As if contemplating why we're here isn't bewildering enough, there's this all-embracing theory that has been long claimed to explain it all -

Love.

In each religion, spirituality, in each heart and mind, there is this strong universal concept that connects us to people and activities and life in a way that we are unable to fully describe. How interesting that the closest way I can explain my existence on this earth is by a concept of feeling that's nearly unexplainable.

Feelings of love trounce me. Talk of love overwhelms me. Attempting to rationalize why I'm madly in love with my passions burdens me. I don't want to explain it - I can't explain it. I have no answer for it. But I can feel it.

How something can be equally simple and complex at the same moment, as it is with love, strikes me as indescribable. And for some odd reason I am comforted by explaining my existence with an unexplainable concept. This reassures me that the pressure is not on me, a single, minuscule human being, to create a purpose for myself. The purpose already lives inside of me, it flows from me naturally. The purpose is love - a force beyond it all.

Life, the process of existing, is a crazy occurence.
I have found it to in no way be natural, normal, or monotonous.

Are you keenly aware of your feet moving
in a impetuous fashion, propelling you through another day?
Are you stopping to relish in the beauty
of the radiant, shining sun, feeling the warmth blanket your skin?
Are you noticing the beating human hearts that surround you
as you walk the streets, respecting each human as uniformly important?

You are alive,
but are you living?

My friends, I have quite the theory here.
It's scandalous.
The world doesn't see it as right.
Let me tell you what the world says:
Look after yourself. Try to get ahead. Buy the latest products to make you shiny and new. Do absolutely whatever pleases you. Tan legs and long hair make you beautiful. Your welcome to complain if the world is not satisfying your needs. Being with a man/woman will satisfy you. If someone wrongs you then it is right to get back at them. Live life like a queen/king because it is all about you.

I think this is bullshit.

This is what I am proposing here,
a new way of life.
The path is a little narrower than before.
It's gonna take some work
and grumbling and complaining
but I promise you,
something great and shiny and new
will come from it.
The theory of its-not-all-about-you-ism:
Live generously and give unceasingly. Love the strangers around you whom you have no business talking to. Make peace with your family. Fall in love with Someone greater. Accept your body as it comes and see the beauty that lives inside you. Come clean and confess. Forgive. Make amends with old friends. Point out what you love in others. Reuse things. Utilize empathy and compassion. Life fully and set down your cell phone. Sit down and actually think about your life and its purpose. Fall in love and lose your life in that love. Live freely and lightly. Give away material items. Accept differences and promote individuality. Embrace moments as they come. See life as fleeting.

This will change the world.

(written on December 24th, 2013)

Today I went on a walk.
I'm gonna tell you- I absolutely felt infinite.
I felt as though every secret was being
revealed to me with each step.
It was beautiful contentment.
It all felt right. Nothing felt wrong.
I felt God. Really, I felt the Presence
right beside me.
God was an old friend. I had loose
thoughts and I felt God listening to
them. Isn't this great?

I wanted to fly away and meet God
face-to-face.
I promise you, the time felt right.
My belief in the Presence felt so real.
God and I together, as one.
This is more than cliche shit.
It was an overwhelming sense of
belonging. It was home.

I was in prayer
and asked God to speak to me.
Silence.

I lifted my head to see a beautiful sunrise.

Glimpse of Heaven

Sometimes I get these
weird glances of the bigger picture.
It's like I see it all piecing together,
all the blessings, hardships.
everything.
They only last a  moment,
but they always give me hope
that You have me.
They end in beauty and security,
they end with me feeling
undeniably loved and cared for.

I love these moments.