a rant on a sunny day

We mustn't forget about the little things.. The small bouts that bring joy, bliss, contentment: glancing up at the clouds and filling with wonder, a warm, fresh spring breeze emerging from a long winter, the tender touch of a caring friend, a lover...
But we do inevitably forget the little things. We're human - we get caught up and worked up in the sweep of the day. But, when we do forget the little things, when we are preoccupied with our countless, stressful thoughts and endless to-do lists, we can remember the big things, the indispensable things: we have working  lungs that are receiving air and keeping us alive, we are existing and moving, and we can make it through this day with the promise of a new sunrise tomorrow.
Gratitude for the big things is indeed just as important as gratitude for the little things.
And some days, when both the big and little things have bypassed our minds, when we're having "one of those days" with no rest, no true breath, no stopping and recognizing the day as a gift, we can hang on to the ultimate hope, the greatest thing of them all...
That we are here, we are aware, and we are beloved to the earth. And nothing can take that from us.

TRUST

I desire to understand people. I desire to know why people do what they do (why I do what I do). I desire to know the origin of people: why we were placed here in this allotted time in history, surrounded by certain people, carrying out individual plans, goals...
I desire to understand the meaning, the purpose, of my two feet upon earth. Where were they meant to take me? Will I make any sort of a difference?

I desire to understand all the facets of life that I can never understand, the ones that only God understands - and this is where trust plays in,..

To trust in the unknown, to surrender to the power of fate, and to be madly in love with the mystery of it all.

Maybe, just maybe,
the spiritual part of a person
is indeed the most vital part.
Maybe in our spirit lies the fullness of who we are-
spiritual beings that occupy
a physical body for a short period of time,
then we are released from
that foreign body upon death
and we become free and alive and right
for the first time,
and we understand the reasoning
behind the madness we deem "life".
And everyone that we left behind on Earth mourns,
but we now know that there is a world
so incredibly beautiful waiting for us
when our physical functioning ceases.
And we desperately want to share
this crucial information with our loved ones below,
but when we open our mouths to speak,
God intervenes,
"My sweet child, do not spoil the secret.
They, too, will learn of what has been
waiting for them all along when they
arrive and stand beside you. So let their
tears flow and their hearts break -
one day they will experience this no more."


*inspired by T.S. Eliot's quote, "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

Tell me-
how do I unleash this world
that I've created in my mind,
the only world that
makes sense to me?
A world in which dancing freely
is customary,
and loving others comes easy.
And life is not bogged down
by fancy philosophical explanations,
but it is instead felt and experienced
and lived with the brilliant fervor
brought about by uncertainty,

And everything is immersed in light.
And God is in everything,
around everything, and above everything.
And judgement of others has ceased
because everyone is defined by
the same standard - we are all humans,
And simplicity is honored and practiced.
And everyone acts as themselves
because the thought of trying to be
someone you're not is absurd.
And change is welcome -
learning and growing and
acquiring wisdom is practiced.

And, above all,
the people of this world
fully understand that
life is fleeting -
and no, we will not last forever
on this earth,
so we will make this time worth it.

Why the hell am I here -
forced to face my existence
with some sensible form of reason,
yet knowing full well
that I will never receive
a definite explanation
as to why my two feet
were unwillingly placed here
on this specified orb floating
in the vast, mysterious universe?

Life is ridiculously perplexing
if you break through
the monotony of everyday life
to think about it -

But it's worth it.
(I hope)

sanctuary 

How many times will I lay
in this place, this familiar place
where I've so often
thought and pondered and
questioned the complexity of life,
before my time is up
and I am no longer
a companion to the Earth?

And on that day
all those questions
(the worries, the uncertainties)
will finally be answered -
and I will be free.

Soon, incredibly soon
(it could be any day, any moment),
I will know;
so why do I continue
to lay and ponder
and strain my mind
to make sense of the world
when the solution
is merely around the corner?

What if it's true;
what if the kingdom
of heaven is really within
every human being that lives
on this speck in the universe -
but only some realize it?

This would be radical.
This would be outrageous,
insane, and totally unbelievable
(in the best way possible).
This would be life-changing.
This would change everyone's
course of action on planet Earth.

So,
what if it's true?
Then I want to believe it.

The Sun is constantly supplying its light
to an undeserving Earth.
The Sun doesn't ask for anything back.

This is a radical love.
And it confuses me.
Because it's so different from the way that we love as human beings.
We want constant affirmation; we want to know that what we're doing for others is appreciated and noticed.

What if we really didn't have any stipulations for our love for others?
What if it poured out like the Sun,
and what if we didn't ask for anything in return?

It would change everything.