the someone I'd like to meet

someone who lives a little life 

and is content with their little life 

yet they also know

that their little life 

makes a big impact 

on others' little lives 

thus creating this intertwined,

little-big world in which we are

constantly giving and taking,

walking and talking, making a 

bigger impact than any of us

could have imagined...

someone like that. 

TRUST

I desire to understand people. I desire to know why people do what they do (why I do what I do). I desire to know the origin of people: why we were placed here in this allotted time in history, surrounded by certain people, carrying out individual plans, goals...
I desire to understand the meaning, the purpose, of my two feet upon earth. Where were they meant to take me? Will I make any sort of a difference?

I desire to understand all the facets of life that I can never understand, the ones that only God understands - and this is where trust plays in,..

To trust in the unknown, to surrender to the power of fate, and to be madly in love with the mystery of it all.

time

it's becoming easier to think of you, now.
 time does something beautiful like that -

while we're constantly concerning ourselves
with the tedious tasks of everyday living,
time never stops moving.
and what's funny is that we forget
that time is indeed moving along with us
as we walk the path of our day, our week.
and then we have these breakthrough moments
in which we remember:
"has it really been a month, a year, a decade?"
and we realize that the hard things
have become a little less burdensome.

that's what I love about time.
It heals without us even knowing.

Are you keenly aware of your feet moving
in a impetuous fashion, propelling you through another day?
Are you stopping to relish in the beauty
of the radiant, shining sun, feeling the warmth blanket your skin?
Are you noticing the beating human hearts that surround you
as you walk the streets, respecting each human as uniformly important?

You are alive,
but are you living?

thoughts by the graveside - 4/26/14

By the graveside
you cannot hide.
You are beside death,
and who, when they are beside death,
can distract their mind?

No one. You are forced
to face the reality that
this mound of fresh dirt,
these fake flowers,
they are your destiny.

You are returning to dust.
Every day you live,
you are a little closer
than the day before.

2.
You will one day leave your home.
You will one day leave the only home you've ever known,
often unexpectedly.
And where will you go?
Of this I do not know with assurance.

3. 
Sometimes I wonder
how life is even real.
There are so many surreal moments -
or is that just life?
A web, a collection
of unexplainable moments
that morph together and
equate to our reality.

Such is life.

4.
Life is equal parts of living and dying.
We are living everyday and dying everyday.

5. 
I am very much in love with life;
I am also absurdly preoccupied with death.

6. 
You must believe in God
in a place such as this.
What do you think of all this?
Was it meaningless?
All these lives, lived and lost.
And look what they amount to.

a brief look into my mind on 4/1/14 (scattered thoughts)

1.) The way I see it is this -
grief can create a fool of you,
or it can be a way to glorify
the life that was lost,
and to express your love
to that person by living
a brighter and more
beautiful life.

2.) I sat
and I saw
a long journey
ahead of me,

a necessary journey
with light at the end.

3.) I took a step
to start my new life today.

As a new being,
a new spiritual being,
a new life with one less,
but in the process
of gaining much more.

Your death will be glorified.

One thing I really hate about life
is that other people are losing theirs
while I am still living.

And I am left wondering -
where do I go from here?