Who are you?
What are you becoming?

Who am I?
What am I becoming?

You can't question the
mystery of death
without questioning the
mystery of life.

What are we all becoming?
Is death the climax?
The peak at which
we have reached our destiny?
At which we have reached
what we will all become?

Or do we continue becoming,
continue shaping and changing,
always learning, even after
we have passed on?

If so, the question remains:
What are we becoming,
the living and the dead,
the total of all the beings
that are in (were in) existence?

Answer.
We are becoming beautiful.

Words worth sharing:

TRUST

I desire to understand people. I desire to know why people do what they do (why I do what I do). I desire to know the origin of people: why we were placed here in this allotted time in history, surrounded by certain people, carrying out individual plans, goals...
I desire to understand the meaning, the purpose, of my two feet upon earth. Where were they meant to take me? Will I make any sort of a difference?

I desire to understand all the facets of life that I can never understand, the ones that only God understands - and this is where trust plays in,..

To trust in the unknown, to surrender to the power of fate, and to be madly in love with the mystery of it all.

Maybe, just maybe,
the spiritual part of a person
is indeed the most vital part.
Maybe in our spirit lies the fullness of who we are-
spiritual beings that occupy
a physical body for a short period of time,
then we are released from
that foreign body upon death
and we become free and alive and right
for the first time,
and we understand the reasoning
behind the madness we deem "life".
And everyone that we left behind on Earth mourns,
but we now know that there is a world
so incredibly beautiful waiting for us
when our physical functioning ceases.
And we desperately want to share
this crucial information with our loved ones below,
but when we open our mouths to speak,
God intervenes,
"My sweet child, do not spoil the secret.
They, too, will learn of what has been
waiting for them all along when they
arrive and stand beside you. So let their
tears flow and their hearts break -
one day they will experience this no more."


*inspired by T.S. Eliot's quote, "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."

thoughts by the graveside - 8/5/14

I don't know much about anything, in fact, I will admit that I don't know anything about so very much. And this thought often makes me feel scared and unwell. I want to feel powerful and and important, well-know and highly esteemed for unearthly, hidden wisdom and knowledge. But in reality, there's an infinite world of mysteries that could not possibly be unveiled to me while I am a wayfarer here on earth.

I simply know what I've learned in my twenty years in this body. I know what I've felt, I know what I've experienced - I know these full well. We are all very different. No two humans alike. And each life and creature that breathes has their own way of understanding the universe. Although I have found that thinking of my awfully limited lifespan, which is confined to this particular body, to be terrifying, I've also found it to be equally beautiful and awakening. I am the only me that will ever be, there will never be one that exists quite like my personal bundle of flesh and bones and thoughts. This is a liberating encouragement to be myself. We aren't required to change ourselves or be who we aren't because because only one of you was made. And there's no pressure to be someone else - that role is already taken.

And when it comes to others, how freeing is it to love others as they come to you? Not to morph them into a being to serve you or to satisfy you, but to notice how they differ from you and to love them anyway? This is so powerful. One of the most noble deeds that you may ever do in your lifetime is to love those that you have no business loving. How lovely is that?

And amidst my cloud of unknowing in this life, the cloud that I often try to pierce and understand (unsuccessfully, I might add), I have learned that uncertainty is okay. In fact, uncertainty is more than okay, it's a vital, driving force that keeps us pressing forward, keeps us awake and alive and on our toes, keeps us searching for our meaning and purpose in life - wherever you may find it. 

I can't help but believe that uncertainty leads to truth, that questions lead to answers,

and that unknowing leads to knowing full well that we will never have all the answers, 

but what's life without the element of mystery? 

worthwhile, scattered thoughts of the week 

1
In reality,
where do I fit?
I am so many beings,
so many me's have been
morphed into a singular collection of
skin and bone and framework.

Why do we try and try
to conform to a single being,
to a single identity?
We are an assemblage
of our countless experiences,
emotions, people we've encountered.
They shaped and molded
and made you, you.


2
In admitting that I know less that I credited myself for;
I will, in return, gain more:

mystery and wonder and whimsy.

Snow

Where are You
in the still of today.
It's quiet -
but Your voice, audible, fluttering
dances in my ears.

How present are You?
Just how close to my heart?
I feel intertwined
with the mystery
of Your presence.

Be restful
my tiny little wayfarer.
The answers will come
in the most
serendipitous manner.
They'll jump
and glow and float
before your eyes.
And yes,
amazement will be present.
and you'll sing
a true song
to the sky.
Keep on your path
my tiny little wayfarer,
the best is yet to come.